Have you heard someone say before to consider your motives when you give a gift? I have and for the longest time, couldn't understand it, until recently...
We do best when we live and act in own best interests. This doesn’t mean ONLY in our own best interest, but AT LEAST in our own best interest. I know, it may sound selfish especially if you're living by giving (love) vs. receiving. I think the distinction comes in when you make sure you always put yourself in the decision. Act in ways that will improve your world, and if you have a mission of love, that will include giving to the less fortunate and preserving life, love and hope in people. But it will always include you. When you exclude you, you turn the tables in an opposite way which actually reads horrible from the other direction. And works against your goals.
I have a friend that is always thinking of others. She’s a giver in life. Not having realized this, I’ve heard her say things that come out differently than she means them. For example, if a friend says, I’m thinking of getting something to eat, she’s thinking so hard of that persons approach, or better yet her feeling of how they should approach their eating choices that she suggests low fat, low carb items on the menu. The person is possibly offended because…who is she to suggest what I should eat. And she’s later unsatisfied because she wanted to go to the subshop…or whatever.
We are taught that love is not selfish..and it isn’t! But it also isn’t self less…selfless is a setup.
We are so accustomed to selfishness, than when someone does something nice for us, we think it’s because they think they owe it to us. And that’s where abuse comes in. Worse, the thought comes to mind when you do someone a favor that “they owe me one”. If you act at least in your best interest at all times, the favor is the reward.
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